It’s A Lie – A ‘Happy Divorce’

These are the words that ring in my ears after watching a mate struggle with his wife’s recent walkout, Enjoy, if you can.

Many have come to me over the years, seeking advice during marital problems – or a bed. “No!” I usually say. “Go back and apologise!” They rarely do, as the fool who got himself into a pickle can rarely get himself out of it.

I’ve had a lot more than most (divorces that is) so am qualified to speak on this one. Years ago, Mum also watched me ‘stand up to Dad’ and she was surprised that Henny Penny’s prediction did not come true. She left him when I was aged 29 years, despite my strong advice not to.

My Advice to Christian Males

1. In faith, work out you want – then tell her. I know that she can read your mind but this one is important to speak forth..
2. If she still wants it, then let her go. Tell her that there is “No such thing as a Happy Divorce” and that she is buying herself trouble if she does go. A blessing is assured scripturally if she stays and obeys and a curse if she goes or says, “No!”.
3. Sex is off the cards, unless rape is on (in which case I choose not to advise you)..
4. Prepare for a 50/50 split if you live in the West. Forget everything she says to you and everything she has said in the past. Her lawyer will now rule her and that usually means 50% kids AND 50% cash or more.
5. Blame yourself. It is your job to keep her (and happy).. You didn’t so it’s your fault. Get used to it and get over it.
6. Understand that your emotions will go up and down. This is normal with shock.

Divorce is an ugly thing no matter who it strikes or when. For some it takes only months to get over it. Some – years. Others – never.

All the best, team.